Recipe for Disaster


2 loads laundry (whites)

1 ballpoint pen (black/blue–black is my favorite)

Begin by rushing home from school to finish your laundry before you begin work.  Quickly pass your whites through the rinse cycle and put them through to the dryer (added ingredients:  your best friends favorite lounge sweater and your favorite jean skirt).  Make sure to include a ballpoint pen ONLY once you have reached the dryer stage (fold into fitted sheet to make undetectable to the naked eye).  Dust off your hands and walk home with a smile on your face.  Return to find your finished laundry completely and utterly destroyed with deep pen marks that have been permanently branded into your clothing via the industrial dryer at your local laundromat.  Realize that you have included every chef jacket you own in this set of laundry.  Seriously consider hara-kiri.  Take your laundry through one more cycle using the laundromat owner’s “special cleaner.”  Dust off your hands and walk home with a smile on your face.  Remove your “whites” from the washer once more and stare at the exact same pen-mutilated chef jackets.  Decide not to pay the extra fee to dry the now decimated clothes.  Walk home defeated with damp, soggy, pen-marked clothing.  Hang to dry on all surfaces around your apartment creating a kind of eerie ghost-like decor as your clothes flutter in the breeze from the air conditioner. Go to school the next day in a damp chefs jacket with a tense smile on your face as your instructor eyes you with that look again:  “oh Nessly, what now…”


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